Amidst the Madness

Madness, I tell ya. MAD. NESS.

By the very nature of my job, bouts of madness are unavoidable.

Thankfully, I now have Lush to help me cope.

Last week, at the first hint of impending madness,

I decided to try out this vintage beauty.

Love Locket was released as a part of the 2014 Valentine's Day line.

If you shake it, it tinkles and rattles,

giving away this heart's inner most secret . . .

there's a bonus bomb inside the locket.

If you're not a greedy little addict like I am,

you can break open the locket to see what's inside.

Or you just toss the whole thing in the tub and have at 'er.

The smell is not surprisingly a bit romantic and floral.

Overall, I didn't ooooh and aahhhh at this bomb like I do some of my favorites.

But it wasn't a bust either.

Once the bomb has fizzled itself out,

you're left with a beautiful smattering of tiny little red hearts floating about your tub,

which I thought was quite lovely. 

I likely would not spend the money to buy this one again,

because it's a bit on the costly end of the spectrum.

but I don't regret having tried it either. 

My next bath was by far the most divine, heavenly Lush experience I have yet to experience.

From here on out, this will be the bath that all other baths will be measured against.

First and foremost,

I actually got to bathe alone.

Like totally, entirely and utterly by my lonesome.

No one staring at me.

No one playing ponies right next to the tub.
No one whining for me to get her a glass of milk.

No one barking, meowing, banging on the door.

Absolute silence.

And a bottle of wine. 

It gets no better than this, my friends.

I had to be out of town for a seminar for work.

which meant the hotel room tub and I had a hot and steamy date.

I forgot my mini strainer but thankfully,

the little kitchenette in my room came well stocked with a full-sized colander.

Perfect for my sunnyside bubble bar of course.

So in anticipation of my night away,

in glorious solitary confinement,

I consulted with Claire about what bath cocktail I should pack in my Mary Poppins bag of wonders.

Her recommendation?

Intergalactic.

And so it was.

People, I have no words. 

This bomb was other worldly,

like out of this galaxy mind-blowing,

so I suppose it is completely aptly named

I remained in the tub for two of the most beautiful hours of my time thus far here on this planet.

Can you even believe that this kind of beauty is possible?

And in a tub?

Swirling decadently around your legs and arms,

leaving behind a subtly glittered trail of the softest conditioning oils you could possibly ever experience?

Le sigh.

I can definitively and confidently declare that Intergalactic is now my favorite Lush bomb.

I suppose I didn't even mention how it smelled, 

as I was so busy swooning and losing my mind over how it presented in the water . . .

At first, I felt like it was minty- 

the kind of minty that hits your nostrils and opens your pores.

But then it got a bit softer, almost citrusy, while also somewhat smoky.

It was truly perfection.

After coming back down to Earth,

and forcibly removing myself from the tub . . .

I returned to reality and a week from the depths of hell

(thank GOD it's Friday),

but I had a little Lush here and there to get me through.

My shark fin soap arrived- and if it wasn't the cutest thing ever!

It's been nice and refreshing to use in the shower this week,

and a fun change from my otherwise all-things-sweet-and-fruity shower line-up.

I also tried Error 404,

which may have been awesome except that I used it somewhat close in time to Intergalactic,

so it was a bit underwhelming.

I'm not knocking this bomb,

because it was lovely and pretty and left me with a tub of gorgeous turquoise and minty water.

I think the fact that I was back to my regular bathing routine,

which includes a massive stash of ponies to keep the wild red-haired one busy, 

at the side of my tub mind you,

may have affected my perspective on things too.

I'm thinking I should blame my compulsive buying of all things Lush on the fact this week has stressed me out and burned me out big time.

But really,

even if it had been the best week in the world,

I would likely still have continued to add to my stash,

so I guess who am I kidding with my lame justifications.

The Tiny Human and I decided our shared bathroom needed a makeover,

so it could be as awesome as the new bath and beauty stuff we use obsessively.

So I present the curtain of mermaids.

I believe the blonde in the middle is named Celestia Swirl Candy Cane,

and the red-head is Tooty Wiggle Flower Blossom.

What can I say?

The Tiny Human is an exceptional name-bestower.

So I may have talked about the black market I buy from in the past . . .

I'm also part of a swap group.

You're assigned a swapee, Secret Santa style and you send them cool Lush things by post and then wait for another secret Lushie to send you a box of loot.

My swap arrived yesterday and my swapette (I've made all these titles up, by the way . . . they are in no way endorsed by the Lush Swap Group) went way above and beyond the call of duty.

Holy Jackpot Batman!!!

Also Jackpot?

This Golden Wonder bomb sent to me by Claire,

just because she's entirely awesome like that.

It immediately reminded me of a delicious slice of funfetti cake.

So I had a feeling this experienced was going to end quite well.

And I was so right. 

It smelled like Celebrate,

which could be the end of things right there.

Because Celebrate is magical and the official lotion and scent of unicorns, fairies, and things mystical and amazing.

As it fizzled, little stars and burst of color shot about,

and it truly was like I was in bowl of speckled funfetti cupcake batter.

I was left with a glittery, shimmery tub of aqua water,

which soothed and smooth my tired body.

So life, work, drama, and all of that jazz?

Not so much this week . . .

But the Lush in  my life?

Grand slam.

I Entered the Triwizard Tournament and Promptly Fell Down the Rabbit Hole While Wearing an American Flag

And by "fell down the rabbit hole" of course I mean dove headfirst without looking and proceeded to worm my way down as deep as I could go and then when I hit rock bottom I began furiously clawing at the dirt to dig deeper yet.

And the rabbit hole clearly is a metaphor for the crazy-ass addictive world of all things Lush.

So now that I've been a bit more straightforward and cleared all that up,

shall we move along to the time I wore an American flag?

My freak flag, pun intended, was proudly flying all weekend long in honor of the 4th of July.

I had no shame wearing this awful souvenir shop sweatshirt 24/7 to celebrate America's birthday.

My poor daughter was forced to wear the flag and all things red, white, and blue ALL week long leading up to the 4th.

But to her this is actually totes normal because I insist that we dress up for every single holiday,

and because I do it with such cheer and fanfare,

she gets weirdly excited about it and thinks it's some sort of treat that she has to wear themed-outfits all week long leading up to a holiday. 

Just wait... Halloween, my favorite holiday,

has an entire month dedicated to it.

We call it Octoberpalooza. 

But I digress. Or get ahead of myself. Either way.

We spent the holiday weekend up in the northwoods of Wisconsin.

And it was relaxing, and glorious and all things wonderful . . .

EXCEPT for the fact I somehow suffered brain damage while packing and neglected to haul up a bunch of Lush to feed my fix for the weekend. 

Bath products are not well stocked at my parents' cottage,

and the only thing I had access to was this giant ass bottle of Bath and Body Works Peach Nectar lotion from 1997.

And for real . . . it's from 1997.

I know this because I bought that bottle while in high school as a Christmas present for my mom. 

The thing had lingered around for years at my parents house . . .

I once found it stashed in the back of my mom's bathroom cupboard while looking for a band-aid,

and years later it was set out in the "guest bathroom" upstairs.

And now it seems it migrated its way up to the cottage. 

I was momentarily worried that using lotion that was older than the Jenner girls might be bad for my health, so I turned to Google, 

of course.

RARE SCENT

Yeah, thanks Captain Obvious. 

It hasn't been sold in stored since before the Y2K scare. 

Clearly it's "rare." 

I was also intrigued, though, by the fact you could buy this "rare" lotion on Amazon for $55!!

Suddenly I realized I was holding a goldmine in my hands.

HOLY CRAP BATMAN!!!

$89.99?!?!?!

I immediately texted Claire to 

a) inform her of my plight, no access to Lush, the impending death . .  and

b) share my findings about the Peach Nectar Money Tree.

Like the wise and supportive friend she is,

she promptly responded "Sell that shit now for Lush money!"

If I had an unlimited Lush fund,

I would likely buy several of these sparkly nuggets.

My friends,

that is the Lush Golden Egg. 

Aka a replica of the egg given to all the Triwizard Tournament contestants in HP before their second task.

Except this one doesn't holler and screech when opened.

What it does do is leave a beautiful trail of golden glitter ebbing and swirling through your bath water.

As the bomb continues to fizzle, a fluffy stream of sweet foam seeps from its golden shell,

leaving you inhaling a subtle honey and toffee scent.

Golden Egg shares its scent with the Honey I Washed the Kids products,

and is both a bomb and a melt.

Simply delightful.

I would note that there is just enough glitter in this bomb/melt to add a touch of lustre and sparkle to your tub,

but not so much so that you step out of the bath looking like a freshly dusted stripper. 

A possible downside is that your bathwater post-egg will slightly resemble a large basis full of urine from a person who desperately needs to drink more water . . .

but if you can simply focus on the glittery swirls and subtly sweet scent, you'll be just fine.

After the egg, I wanted to try a fruity combo for my next dip.

Cue Blackberry Bomb and Pink Flamingo Bubble Wand.

I have learned from my Lush research that Blackberry was one of the first bombs introduced by Lush back in the day.

Despite it's age, it remains quite popular and I can see why having now tried it for myself.

Despite it's name, Blackberry to me was less fruity and a bit more floral.

I hadn't expected this so my uneducated decision to pair it with Pink Flamingo worked well,

given my preference for all things fruity and sweet. 

According to the Bible, aka the All Things Lush UK blog, Pink Flamingo goes a little like this:

Imagine taking a handful of orange sherbet, mixing it with fizzy orange soda and then adding in some Bazooka Raspberry Bubblegum and you may just get an idea of what this bubble bar smells like. 

My bath was a purple paradise of sweet and fruity with just a touch of violety-floral scents. 

Ah Lush, how I love thee . . .

So remember that rabbit hole I mentioned?!?!

Evidence: Me. Head First.

Further Evidence I am out of control?!?!

I do not see this as a problem and rather feel there is significant empty space in my storage bins . . .

FOR MORE LUSH

God help me.

Look After My Heart . . . I've Left it With You

Please, please, please admit that you knew right away that the title of this Post is a line stolen from Edward Cullen.

We can still be friends if you didn't catch that.

Twilight.

Sigh.

Both in the Edward Cullen sense and the Lush sense.

Last night was so, so not awesome.

The Tiny Human had an epic freakout/meltdown that lasted late into the night,

involving the usual screaming, wailing, sobbing, crying, kicking, sprawling her angry body on the hallway floor, boycotting bedtime, 

and the list goes on.

So I went to bed stressed, and angry, and frustrated,

and woke up feeling all of those things and exhaustion.

I knew I needed the world's most calming bath ever,

so of course I turned to Twilight and Unicorn Horn.

Despite the purpley-pink color and name Twilight,

this probably wouldn't be a normal go-to for me,

because it's not at all sweet or sugary or cotton-candy scented or fruity.

The overwhelming scent in Twilight is lavender,

and almost always I am not a fan of lavender. 

Unicorn is also in the lavender family, 

but more subtly so than Twilight.

But combined,

they do make for a heavenly experience of all things zen and calm.

That is,

until your morbidly obese cat starts banging his head into the bathroom door over and over and over,

meowing at the top of his lungs to get in,

and your dog,

who was left outside in the yard by your husband,

is yelping and barking to come back in,

which is even more annoying considering that you know for a fact as soon as you let the neurotic canine back in, 

he will immediately start whimpering and yelping to go right back out . . .

Serenity now.

The bath itself was exceptional.

The outside world and factors not in any way related to the magical world of Lush were less than stellar,

and it was almost impossible to just let myself calm down and relax enough to enjoy this bath like I should have been able to.

But if you don't have an obnoxious cat,

or a whiggy dog,

or an out-of-control three year old who will inevitably destroy your temple of zen,

you should for sure try this bath combo.

The Unicorn Horn creates mountains of bubbles,

and by the way I barely used any of it for this bath,

probably just the tip of the horn.

You could easily get 4 baths, maybe more out of the Unicorn Horn.

Or you could totally be a glutinous little Lushie Piggy, 

like I am most of the time,

and use the whole damn thing and just disappear for days under an exquisite cloud of bubble fluff.

Twilight is also a huge bomb and could easily be split and enjoyed in two baths,

but I plunked the whole thing into the tub.

What I didn't expect was the beautiful turquoise core that seeped out of this bomb.

Twilight isn't as explosive or fizzy and showy as some bombs,

but the upside is that its slow and beautiful release can be enjoyed over time,

as you indulge in your bath. 

I would estimate that it took a good 15 minutes for this bomb to fully disappear into the gentle waves of my bath water. 

And except for the awful meowing and banging of the door, and the rampant barking, 

and the whiny whines from the toddler down the hall . . .

it was a blissful, dreamy 15 minutes.

Thawing the Freeze

So the whole freeze on letting you know who we really are . . .

thawed. 

At least this once.

Presenting the Tiny Human, LakeGirl and yours truly, SWMNBN.

We'll still go with the whole undercover secret agent names and all,

but hello.

'Tis us.

We had an awesome weekend,

mostly because we got to see Auntie LG,

who is single-handedly our most favorite human ever. 

And another one of my rockstar friends from law school.

Just a whole buncha happy, I tell ya.

Weekends like that are good for the soul.

Also awesome? 

My departure from attempts in recent weekends past to dress cute.

What was I thinking?

Comfort is just the way I roll at heart.

And if I can work a Fat Amy shoutout tee into the mix,

even better.

Now back to business,

and all things Lush.

Sigh.

My stash is growing nicely and I am oh so proud.

I was giddy to know I have enough stuff crammed into my shower that I could make this possible . . .

#lovewins rainbow shower time. 

Seriously.

If I could live in my shower, 

I totally would.

Or bath.

Because this also happened. . . .

Good lord do I need some Botox in between my eyebrows . . .

ignore that, please and thanks.

Focus on the Kitchen Polaroids.

My very first ever Kitchen order arrived last Friday . . .

so naturally,

I went home immediately,

without passing Go,

I did not collect $200,

and I headed straight for the tub.

I decided to combine a Razzle Dazzle Bath Oil with the Frozen bomb.

Frozen is, in my opinion, almost floral smelling.

Not strong overwhelming floral,

but floral nonetheless.

Expert Lushies have compared the scent of Frozen to Happy Happy Joy Joy conditioner;

and although there is supposed to be grapefruit oil in it,

it's the neroli floral scent that seems to break the ice.

 So to level out the floral,

I wanted to toss in something extra sweet.

Cue the Razzle Dazzle,

which screams of raspberry and lime.

But first, just watch me Let it Go . . .

Once the bomb had fizzled and scooted its way around my tub,

leaving a wake of blue and white ice caps in its wake,

I tossed in the Razzle Dazzle.

And here is where I add a disclaimer.

Razzle Dazzle is a stainer.

The Tiny Human's washcloth isn't supposed to look like James P. Sullivan from Monsters Inc.

And yet after a little bit of time in the tub with Razzle Dazzle,

James P. Sullivan it is.

The combination of Frozen blue and Razzle Dazzle pink did make for some beautiful grape-colored water,

but can you see the pink staining on the wall of the tub?

This was the first Lush product that I used that couldn't simply be rinsed away post-bath with a bit of water. 

BUT, there is good news!

I spritzed a quick bit of Scrubbing Bubbles onto the stains as soon as the bath was drained,

and the pink wiped away easily.

No scrubbing or sweating or anything like that.

But I did have to use a cleaning product and rag to wash away the evidence of my bath.

I'd say worth it though because the color and scent of Razzle Dazzle was quite awesome!

And The Greatest of These Is Love

Oh today is a good, good, day.

The United States Supreme Court,

in a 5-4 decision,

has declared that it is legal for all Americans,

no matter their gender or sexual orientation,

to marry the people they love.

The headlines actually brought me to tears.

Happy, incredibly grateful and proud tears.

My heart feels like it could explode out of my chest.

I am giddy and thrilled that my daughter is going to grow up in a country where the law will finally be that every single human being is equal.

No Justice would ever include this in his or her opinion,

but this decision screams loud and clear that all of the beautifully unique and diverse and individual human beings that make up our country are valuable, worthwhile, and equal human beings.

She won't appreciate it now,

but tonight our bedtime story is going to be Justice Kennedy's opinion for the majority.

The lead plaintiff in the case was Jim Obergefell,

an Ohio resident who had married his longtime love and partner about two decades ago.

Jim's partner and husband, Arthur, suffered from ALS and eventually lost his life to the disease.

Jim's wish was simple: to be identified on Arthur's death certificate as his surviving spouse.

Imagine that: losing the love of your life,

the person who stood beside you and battled life's ups and downs,

celebrated life's joys,

wondered at life's beauties,

cried and laughed and created every memory that made the story of your life . . .

and to not be allowed to memorialize that love.

To have someone tell you that your story didn't matter.

Your love somehow wasn't enough or wasn't the right kind of love.

Those battles you fought? Those tears you cried? The laughs you shared?

The memories you created?

You did all that with the wrong kind of person,

so it doesn't count. 

Now, it does. 

Legally.

Whether this decision had come down or not,

in our house,

we have always loved love.

All kinds of love.

All kinds of happiness.

And every single kind of beautiful person there is.

The most important thing to me,

from the moment my daughter was born,

was to cultivate in her a kind and loving heart.

I desperately wanted her to celebrate and excite in the exquisite diversity of humankind.

To appreciate that one of the greatest privileges of being given this life we've been given is to interact with and support and love and celebrate the beautiful people around us who are all on their own journeys.

To recognize that every single human being on this Earth has worth,

and value, and something beautiful and unique to contribute to this world of ours.

And to believe with all of her heart that if you have love in your life,

you'll never get any part of this living thing wrong.

Gay marriage was legalized in Wisconsin on a Friday,

June 6th.

I spent Saturday morning at the courthouse in Milwaukee,

celebrating the marriage of two incredibly special people in my life,

But while we were waiting for their ceremony,

I also offered to witness several other couples' marriages.

I cannot explain the joy and love and happiness and pride that filled every single square inch of the courtroom corridor. 

Weddings are always filled with love,

but there was something more in the hallways on that day.

I watched couples cry uncontrollably as they said their vows,

because today they were allowed to marry the person who had been the other half of their heart for so long. 

Damn straight, Lush. 

The rest of the world has finally caught up with you.

I'm honored and giddy at the ongoing opportunity as a mom to teach my innocent, perfect little tiny human being how to love unconditionally,

how to respect all people,

how to be tolerant and accepting,

how to see beauty in our differences,

and how to embrace those differences.

Hate is not inherent.

It is learned.

Intolerance is taught.

But so is love.

High five, United States Supreme Court.

You've done damn fine work.