I Entered the Triwizard Tournament and Promptly Fell Down the Rabbit Hole While Wearing an American Flag

And by "fell down the rabbit hole" of course I mean dove headfirst without looking and proceeded to worm my way down as deep as I could go and then when I hit rock bottom I began furiously clawing at the dirt to dig deeper yet.

And the rabbit hole clearly is a metaphor for the crazy-ass addictive world of all things Lush.

So now that I've been a bit more straightforward and cleared all that up,

shall we move along to the time I wore an American flag?

My freak flag, pun intended, was proudly flying all weekend long in honor of the 4th of July.

I had no shame wearing this awful souvenir shop sweatshirt 24/7 to celebrate America's birthday.

My poor daughter was forced to wear the flag and all things red, white, and blue ALL week long leading up to the 4th.

But to her this is actually totes normal because I insist that we dress up for every single holiday,

and because I do it with such cheer and fanfare,

she gets weirdly excited about it and thinks it's some sort of treat that she has to wear themed-outfits all week long leading up to a holiday. 

Just wait... Halloween, my favorite holiday,

has an entire month dedicated to it.

We call it Octoberpalooza. 

But I digress. Or get ahead of myself. Either way.

We spent the holiday weekend up in the northwoods of Wisconsin.

And it was relaxing, and glorious and all things wonderful . . .

EXCEPT for the fact I somehow suffered brain damage while packing and neglected to haul up a bunch of Lush to feed my fix for the weekend. 

Bath products are not well stocked at my parents' cottage,

and the only thing I had access to was this giant ass bottle of Bath and Body Works Peach Nectar lotion from 1997.

And for real . . . it's from 1997.

I know this because I bought that bottle while in high school as a Christmas present for my mom. 

The thing had lingered around for years at my parents house . . .

I once found it stashed in the back of my mom's bathroom cupboard while looking for a band-aid,

and years later it was set out in the "guest bathroom" upstairs.

And now it seems it migrated its way up to the cottage. 

I was momentarily worried that using lotion that was older than the Jenner girls might be bad for my health, so I turned to Google, 

of course.

RARE SCENT

Yeah, thanks Captain Obvious. 

It hasn't been sold in stored since before the Y2K scare. 

Clearly it's "rare." 

I was also intrigued, though, by the fact you could buy this "rare" lotion on Amazon for $55!!

Suddenly I realized I was holding a goldmine in my hands.

HOLY CRAP BATMAN!!!

$89.99?!?!?!

I immediately texted Claire to 

a) inform her of my plight, no access to Lush, the impending death . .  and

b) share my findings about the Peach Nectar Money Tree.

Like the wise and supportive friend she is,

she promptly responded "Sell that shit now for Lush money!"

If I had an unlimited Lush fund,

I would likely buy several of these sparkly nuggets.

My friends,

that is the Lush Golden Egg. 

Aka a replica of the egg given to all the Triwizard Tournament contestants in HP before their second task.

Except this one doesn't holler and screech when opened.

What it does do is leave a beautiful trail of golden glitter ebbing and swirling through your bath water.

As the bomb continues to fizzle, a fluffy stream of sweet foam seeps from its golden shell,

leaving you inhaling a subtle honey and toffee scent.

Golden Egg shares its scent with the Honey I Washed the Kids products,

and is both a bomb and a melt.

Simply delightful.

I would note that there is just enough glitter in this bomb/melt to add a touch of lustre and sparkle to your tub,

but not so much so that you step out of the bath looking like a freshly dusted stripper. 

A possible downside is that your bathwater post-egg will slightly resemble a large basis full of urine from a person who desperately needs to drink more water . . .

but if you can simply focus on the glittery swirls and subtly sweet scent, you'll be just fine.

After the egg, I wanted to try a fruity combo for my next dip.

Cue Blackberry Bomb and Pink Flamingo Bubble Wand.

I have learned from my Lush research that Blackberry was one of the first bombs introduced by Lush back in the day.

Despite it's age, it remains quite popular and I can see why having now tried it for myself.

Despite it's name, Blackberry to me was less fruity and a bit more floral.

I hadn't expected this so my uneducated decision to pair it with Pink Flamingo worked well,

given my preference for all things fruity and sweet. 

According to the Bible, aka the All Things Lush UK blog, Pink Flamingo goes a little like this:

Imagine taking a handful of orange sherbet, mixing it with fizzy orange soda and then adding in some Bazooka Raspberry Bubblegum and you may just get an idea of what this bubble bar smells like. 

My bath was a purple paradise of sweet and fruity with just a touch of violety-floral scents. 

Ah Lush, how I love thee . . .

So remember that rabbit hole I mentioned?!?!

Evidence: Me. Head First.

Further Evidence I am out of control?!?!

I do not see this as a problem and rather feel there is significant empty space in my storage bins . . .

FOR MORE LUSH

God help me.