Simplify

So a couple of things:

1) My life has been pure and total chaos on all levels lately. 

I really, desperately, badly, muchly (that last one isn't a real word, I know that) want this little Glitter Vault escape place of mine to be full of sparkles, rainbows and all things good. 

I mean, is it too much to ask to just wanna hop on my unicorn, with a rainbow tiara full of sparkles, and ride around a field of Lush scented flowers, sipping Starbucks and galloping off into the sunset? 

I think not.

So pretty much I will just repress, ignore, or fail to discuss the chaos that has been my life at work and my life at home (not because of the Tiny Human, well mostly not because of her) because then I can carry on with my sparkly happy ramblings.

But I need to at least mention the chaos because it's the reason I decided I needed a thoroughly simple bath last night.

When life fills the pages of your story with lines and lines of endless crazy,

turn the page,

take a deep breath,

 and revel in the simple nothingness of what comes next.

Or at least, in my head, that's how it works.

So back to the basics it was.

A Butterball Bath Bomb paired with the Milky Bubble Bar.

No flare, no drama, no show in the tub.

Pure simplicity.

And it was simply delightful.

Butterball is a small little bomb.

It fizzles quickly and unmemorably. 

But the point of the Butterball bomb isn't the extra flashy stuff that has made Lush so loved.

It has just seven ingredients, with cocoa butter being at the top of the list.

It's scent is entirely subtle,

with slight hints of vanilla and toffee. 

Butterball won't wow your visual senses,

but in the most effective and yet unsexy way,

it does its job of leaving your skin hydrated, smoothed, and replenished.

Paired with the equally nondescript Milky Bath Bar,

this simple bath soothed and calmed my very over-stressed and very over-stimulated tired soul.

Sigh.

There was more than one thing about chaos to share, because I started with a one and should have a two on this list . . 

Ah yes, now I remember.

2) I am anticipating the pure chaos that will be tonight's Kitchen experience.

Claire and I will be up late/early furiously texting our moral support back and forth as we partake in the crazy quest to obtain Abomniballs.

We agreed to each buy one more than we otherwise would have,

so if one of us fails in the mission,

we may still be able to lay our grubby paws upon this beauty of a bomb.

I actually feel butterflies fluttering in the base of my tummy already just thinking about it.

And yeah, I know.

It's like wildly out-of-control levels of crazy addiction.

If You Need Me, I'll Be In The Kitchen

Oh not the kitchen for cooking or anything like that. 

I don't really do that anymore. 

I'm talking about the only kitchen that actually matters.

The Lush kitchen of course.

So this week is the menu with all of the crazy addicts of the world's favorite items. 

They had a whole ton of stuff available for voting and the items with the most votes ended up on the menu, as pictured above.

Claire is taking the night shift tonight to order us Fun with a Twist.

I skipped Error 404 because I've tried it,

and while it was lovely,

I need to pinch my pennies and save up for the stuff I simply cannot live without.

Tomorrow is Abombinaball,

a super rare bath ballistic that I simply must have!!!!

I'm passing on Twilight but am pretty sure I will set my alarm for Supernova.

So of course I felt that I should take a Supernova bath to test out the goods,

and determine if I do in fact need to wake up at 1:45 am to log in to the kitchen and stuff a bunch of these in my virtual shopping cart.

And the answer by the way is 100%-yes-I-need-to-buy-more.

The bomb was lovely, 

and since I bought it from my black market supplier,

I'm thinking a fresh ballistic might be even more out-of-this-world as far as scent and fizz and all that jazz.

Claire had told me that a friend of hers thought that Supernova's confetti was a bit slimy and weird,

but it didn't bother me at all.

Every now and then while losing myself in the beautiful pink water I felt a sliver of sprinkle tickle my leg,

almost like the tip of a feather in a remake of that scene from Forest Gump.

I found it playful and sneaky and sort of fun.

So yes, I will definitely be ordering more supernovas this week.

Exhibit A

Because clearly I don't order enough from the Kitchen as it is.

See Exhibit A. 

Say Yes. Always. Or at least to these 30 things.

I can't take credit for this list. I found it here.

Or rather LakeGirl found it there and then sent it to me.

But it made me happy. 

And the only thing better than being happy is sharing whatever made you happy with someone else. 

So here you go-

30 things you should always say yes to in this amazing life of ours.

1. Buying that book that’s been on your “to read” list for the last two years.

Has anyone else read this book?? It's so much wonderful I cannot begin to explain it... thoughtful, sad, inspiring, heart-warming. Make time to read this.

2. Meeting your best friend for some late-night drive-thru.

3. Going to a wedding even if you don’t know anyone else there.

4. Agreeing to happy hour with that coworker you don’t know very well.

5. Starting a healthier diet, even if you do it slowly with one small change at a time.

6. Seeing movies in theater once in a while.

7. Spending a relaxing night in when you know you really need it, even when your friends are pressuring you to go out.

8. Accepting the help an employee offers you in that store you’re unfamiliar with.

9. Taking a night away from technology to relax on the porch, eat a nice meal, start a good book, or do anything else that will give your eyes some time away from screens.

10. Sending hand-written cards to people you care about.

This is such a lost art . . . I want my daughter to be able to see my script someday and not just store old texts or emails I may have sent

11. Cleaning out your closet, and getting rid of all the needless clutter in your bedroom.

Cleaning anything and organizing brings me joy. Period. But if you label your cleaning and organizing and do it with friends, it adds some extra pizzazz to the task. LakeGirl and I used to partake in "Fashion Frolics," which meant we would sit around purging our closet. For fun.

12. Making time to catch up with your long distance best friend on Skype. Or better yet, splurging on a plane ticket to go visit them.

13. Taking a real lunch break in which you actually leave the office, sit down at a table, and give yourself 30 or 45 minutes of peace in which you’re doing zero work.

14. Indulging your parents by participating in cheesy family photos, even when you think you look terrible.

15. Taking an unplanned day off when you really need a break.

16. Baking homemade cookies every once in a while, instead of buying them at the store.

I need to work on this one . . . as I am guilty of "making" cookies last night with my daughter by removing the pre-made Pillsbury dough balls from the carton and plopping them on the baking sheet

17. Ordering pizza on a night when you really, really want pizza.

18. Taking a nap on a rainy afternoon.

19. Going to your friend’s art show or musical performance or marathon or any other cool thing that you can support them doing.

20. Going sledding after a heavy snowfall, regardless of how old you are.

21. Buying flowers on a whim at the grocery store.

22. Watching a lighthearted show when you need to be cheered up.

23. Going on a hike, even if you’re not sure that’s your “thing.”

24. Listening to a genre of music that you normally don’t listen to, because you never know what you might find.

25. Keeping an open mind about, and learning from, constructive criticism.

26. Trying that activity you’ve always wanted to try – cooking, playing guitar, gardening, blogging, calligraphy.

27. Accepting help when you know you need it, from friends or family or your coworker or a therapist or your significant other or anyone else in the world that you trust and that you know will do anything they can to help you.

28. Tasting a foreign cuisine or wine that you’ve never had before.

29. Wearing the comfortable shoes instead of the painful ones.

30. Adventure, whatever that means to you.

Amidst the Madness

Madness, I tell ya. MAD. NESS.

By the very nature of my job, bouts of madness are unavoidable.

Thankfully, I now have Lush to help me cope.

Last week, at the first hint of impending madness,

I decided to try out this vintage beauty.

Love Locket was released as a part of the 2014 Valentine's Day line.

If you shake it, it tinkles and rattles,

giving away this heart's inner most secret . . .

there's a bonus bomb inside the locket.

If you're not a greedy little addict like I am,

you can break open the locket to see what's inside.

Or you just toss the whole thing in the tub and have at 'er.

The smell is not surprisingly a bit romantic and floral.

Overall, I didn't ooooh and aahhhh at this bomb like I do some of my favorites.

But it wasn't a bust either.

Once the bomb has fizzled itself out,

you're left with a beautiful smattering of tiny little red hearts floating about your tub,

which I thought was quite lovely. 

I likely would not spend the money to buy this one again,

because it's a bit on the costly end of the spectrum.

but I don't regret having tried it either. 

My next bath was by far the most divine, heavenly Lush experience I have yet to experience.

From here on out, this will be the bath that all other baths will be measured against.

First and foremost,

I actually got to bathe alone.

Like totally, entirely and utterly by my lonesome.

No one staring at me.

No one playing ponies right next to the tub.
No one whining for me to get her a glass of milk.

No one barking, meowing, banging on the door.

Absolute silence.

And a bottle of wine. 

It gets no better than this, my friends.

I had to be out of town for a seminar for work.

which meant the hotel room tub and I had a hot and steamy date.

I forgot my mini strainer but thankfully,

the little kitchenette in my room came well stocked with a full-sized colander.

Perfect for my sunnyside bubble bar of course.

So in anticipation of my night away,

in glorious solitary confinement,

I consulted with Claire about what bath cocktail I should pack in my Mary Poppins bag of wonders.

Her recommendation?

Intergalactic.

And so it was.

People, I have no words. 

This bomb was other worldly,

like out of this galaxy mind-blowing,

so I suppose it is completely aptly named

I remained in the tub for two of the most beautiful hours of my time thus far here on this planet.

Can you even believe that this kind of beauty is possible?

And in a tub?

Swirling decadently around your legs and arms,

leaving behind a subtly glittered trail of the softest conditioning oils you could possibly ever experience?

Le sigh.

I can definitively and confidently declare that Intergalactic is now my favorite Lush bomb.

I suppose I didn't even mention how it smelled, 

as I was so busy swooning and losing my mind over how it presented in the water . . .

At first, I felt like it was minty- 

the kind of minty that hits your nostrils and opens your pores.

But then it got a bit softer, almost citrusy, while also somewhat smoky.

It was truly perfection.

After coming back down to Earth,

and forcibly removing myself from the tub . . .

I returned to reality and a week from the depths of hell

(thank GOD it's Friday),

but I had a little Lush here and there to get me through.

My shark fin soap arrived- and if it wasn't the cutest thing ever!

It's been nice and refreshing to use in the shower this week,

and a fun change from my otherwise all-things-sweet-and-fruity shower line-up.

I also tried Error 404,

which may have been awesome except that I used it somewhat close in time to Intergalactic,

so it was a bit underwhelming.

I'm not knocking this bomb,

because it was lovely and pretty and left me with a tub of gorgeous turquoise and minty water.

I think the fact that I was back to my regular bathing routine,

which includes a massive stash of ponies to keep the wild red-haired one busy, 

at the side of my tub mind you,

may have affected my perspective on things too.

I'm thinking I should blame my compulsive buying of all things Lush on the fact this week has stressed me out and burned me out big time.

But really,

even if it had been the best week in the world,

I would likely still have continued to add to my stash,

so I guess who am I kidding with my lame justifications.

The Tiny Human and I decided our shared bathroom needed a makeover,

so it could be as awesome as the new bath and beauty stuff we use obsessively.

So I present the curtain of mermaids.

I believe the blonde in the middle is named Celestia Swirl Candy Cane,

and the red-head is Tooty Wiggle Flower Blossom.

What can I say?

The Tiny Human is an exceptional name-bestower.

So I may have talked about the black market I buy from in the past . . .

I'm also part of a swap group.

You're assigned a swapee, Secret Santa style and you send them cool Lush things by post and then wait for another secret Lushie to send you a box of loot.

My swap arrived yesterday and my swapette (I've made all these titles up, by the way . . . they are in no way endorsed by the Lush Swap Group) went way above and beyond the call of duty.

Holy Jackpot Batman!!!

Also Jackpot?

This Golden Wonder bomb sent to me by Claire,

just because she's entirely awesome like that.

It immediately reminded me of a delicious slice of funfetti cake.

So I had a feeling this experienced was going to end quite well.

And I was so right. 

It smelled like Celebrate,

which could be the end of things right there.

Because Celebrate is magical and the official lotion and scent of unicorns, fairies, and things mystical and amazing.

As it fizzled, little stars and burst of color shot about,

and it truly was like I was in bowl of speckled funfetti cupcake batter.

I was left with a glittery, shimmery tub of aqua water,

which soothed and smooth my tired body.

So life, work, drama, and all of that jazz?

Not so much this week . . .

But the Lush in  my life?

Grand slam.

I Entered the Triwizard Tournament and Promptly Fell Down the Rabbit Hole While Wearing an American Flag

And by "fell down the rabbit hole" of course I mean dove headfirst without looking and proceeded to worm my way down as deep as I could go and then when I hit rock bottom I began furiously clawing at the dirt to dig deeper yet.

And the rabbit hole clearly is a metaphor for the crazy-ass addictive world of all things Lush.

So now that I've been a bit more straightforward and cleared all that up,

shall we move along to the time I wore an American flag?

My freak flag, pun intended, was proudly flying all weekend long in honor of the 4th of July.

I had no shame wearing this awful souvenir shop sweatshirt 24/7 to celebrate America's birthday.

My poor daughter was forced to wear the flag and all things red, white, and blue ALL week long leading up to the 4th.

But to her this is actually totes normal because I insist that we dress up for every single holiday,

and because I do it with such cheer and fanfare,

she gets weirdly excited about it and thinks it's some sort of treat that she has to wear themed-outfits all week long leading up to a holiday. 

Just wait... Halloween, my favorite holiday,

has an entire month dedicated to it.

We call it Octoberpalooza. 

But I digress. Or get ahead of myself. Either way.

We spent the holiday weekend up in the northwoods of Wisconsin.

And it was relaxing, and glorious and all things wonderful . . .

EXCEPT for the fact I somehow suffered brain damage while packing and neglected to haul up a bunch of Lush to feed my fix for the weekend. 

Bath products are not well stocked at my parents' cottage,

and the only thing I had access to was this giant ass bottle of Bath and Body Works Peach Nectar lotion from 1997.

And for real . . . it's from 1997.

I know this because I bought that bottle while in high school as a Christmas present for my mom. 

The thing had lingered around for years at my parents house . . .

I once found it stashed in the back of my mom's bathroom cupboard while looking for a band-aid,

and years later it was set out in the "guest bathroom" upstairs.

And now it seems it migrated its way up to the cottage. 

I was momentarily worried that using lotion that was older than the Jenner girls might be bad for my health, so I turned to Google, 

of course.

RARE SCENT

Yeah, thanks Captain Obvious. 

It hasn't been sold in stored since before the Y2K scare. 

Clearly it's "rare." 

I was also intrigued, though, by the fact you could buy this "rare" lotion on Amazon for $55!!

Suddenly I realized I was holding a goldmine in my hands.

HOLY CRAP BATMAN!!!

$89.99?!?!?!

I immediately texted Claire to 

a) inform her of my plight, no access to Lush, the impending death . .  and

b) share my findings about the Peach Nectar Money Tree.

Like the wise and supportive friend she is,

she promptly responded "Sell that shit now for Lush money!"

If I had an unlimited Lush fund,

I would likely buy several of these sparkly nuggets.

My friends,

that is the Lush Golden Egg. 

Aka a replica of the egg given to all the Triwizard Tournament contestants in HP before their second task.

Except this one doesn't holler and screech when opened.

What it does do is leave a beautiful trail of golden glitter ebbing and swirling through your bath water.

As the bomb continues to fizzle, a fluffy stream of sweet foam seeps from its golden shell,

leaving you inhaling a subtle honey and toffee scent.

Golden Egg shares its scent with the Honey I Washed the Kids products,

and is both a bomb and a melt.

Simply delightful.

I would note that there is just enough glitter in this bomb/melt to add a touch of lustre and sparkle to your tub,

but not so much so that you step out of the bath looking like a freshly dusted stripper. 

A possible downside is that your bathwater post-egg will slightly resemble a large basis full of urine from a person who desperately needs to drink more water . . .

but if you can simply focus on the glittery swirls and subtly sweet scent, you'll be just fine.

After the egg, I wanted to try a fruity combo for my next dip.

Cue Blackberry Bomb and Pink Flamingo Bubble Wand.

I have learned from my Lush research that Blackberry was one of the first bombs introduced by Lush back in the day.

Despite it's age, it remains quite popular and I can see why having now tried it for myself.

Despite it's name, Blackberry to me was less fruity and a bit more floral.

I hadn't expected this so my uneducated decision to pair it with Pink Flamingo worked well,

given my preference for all things fruity and sweet. 

According to the Bible, aka the All Things Lush UK blog, Pink Flamingo goes a little like this:

Imagine taking a handful of orange sherbet, mixing it with fizzy orange soda and then adding in some Bazooka Raspberry Bubblegum and you may just get an idea of what this bubble bar smells like. 

My bath was a purple paradise of sweet and fruity with just a touch of violety-floral scents. 

Ah Lush, how I love thee . . .

So remember that rabbit hole I mentioned?!?!

Evidence: Me. Head First.

Further Evidence I am out of control?!?!

I do not see this as a problem and rather feel there is significant empty space in my storage bins . . .

FOR MORE LUSH

God help me.

Look After My Heart . . . I've Left it With You

Please, please, please admit that you knew right away that the title of this Post is a line stolen from Edward Cullen.

We can still be friends if you didn't catch that.

Twilight.

Sigh.

Both in the Edward Cullen sense and the Lush sense.

Last night was so, so not awesome.

The Tiny Human had an epic freakout/meltdown that lasted late into the night,

involving the usual screaming, wailing, sobbing, crying, kicking, sprawling her angry body on the hallway floor, boycotting bedtime, 

and the list goes on.

So I went to bed stressed, and angry, and frustrated,

and woke up feeling all of those things and exhaustion.

I knew I needed the world's most calming bath ever,

so of course I turned to Twilight and Unicorn Horn.

Despite the purpley-pink color and name Twilight,

this probably wouldn't be a normal go-to for me,

because it's not at all sweet or sugary or cotton-candy scented or fruity.

The overwhelming scent in Twilight is lavender,

and almost always I am not a fan of lavender. 

Unicorn is also in the lavender family, 

but more subtly so than Twilight.

But combined,

they do make for a heavenly experience of all things zen and calm.

That is,

until your morbidly obese cat starts banging his head into the bathroom door over and over and over,

meowing at the top of his lungs to get in,

and your dog,

who was left outside in the yard by your husband,

is yelping and barking to come back in,

which is even more annoying considering that you know for a fact as soon as you let the neurotic canine back in, 

he will immediately start whimpering and yelping to go right back out . . .

Serenity now.

The bath itself was exceptional.

The outside world and factors not in any way related to the magical world of Lush were less than stellar,

and it was almost impossible to just let myself calm down and relax enough to enjoy this bath like I should have been able to.

But if you don't have an obnoxious cat,

or a whiggy dog,

or an out-of-control three year old who will inevitably destroy your temple of zen,

you should for sure try this bath combo.

The Unicorn Horn creates mountains of bubbles,

and by the way I barely used any of it for this bath,

probably just the tip of the horn.

You could easily get 4 baths, maybe more out of the Unicorn Horn.

Or you could totally be a glutinous little Lushie Piggy, 

like I am most of the time,

and use the whole damn thing and just disappear for days under an exquisite cloud of bubble fluff.

Twilight is also a huge bomb and could easily be split and enjoyed in two baths,

but I plunked the whole thing into the tub.

What I didn't expect was the beautiful turquoise core that seeped out of this bomb.

Twilight isn't as explosive or fizzy and showy as some bombs,

but the upside is that its slow and beautiful release can be enjoyed over time,

as you indulge in your bath. 

I would estimate that it took a good 15 minutes for this bomb to fully disappear into the gentle waves of my bath water. 

And except for the awful meowing and banging of the door, and the rampant barking, 

and the whiny whines from the toddler down the hall . . .

it was a blissful, dreamy 15 minutes.