New Year's Resolutions

Happy 2015 all!

My house is still knee deep in the plague . . .

so our New Year's Eve, which also marked my 34th year on Earth,

was pretty low key.

For the two seconds I was able to distract the Tiny Human away from the TV long enough to pause the Sofia the First episode we've been watching on repeat for days in order to steal a glimpse at the raucous debauchery that was taking place in Time's Square,

I had to chuckle to myself.

It really wasn't that long ago I used to leave my house to ring in the New Year . . .

I would wear sequins and sparkly things and heels and make-up.

I would toast my friends with a glass filled with some variety of adult-oriented beverage,

and actually be awake as the ball dropped while one year conspicuously become a part of our past while a new one took its place as our present. 

As I sat in my bed this New Year's Eve, 

at 7:00 p.m., 

wearing elastic-wasted sweatpants and a ratty sweatshirt, 

which was entirely crusted over on one shoulder with dried snot from the wiggly little human with unkempt hair who was picking her nose next to me because she had already overused my arm as a kleenex,

the cheers and noise I heard were not coming from a party-loving crowd but from that same tiny little human,

who was demanding we put Sofia back on while at the same insisting I refill her sippy cup of milk.

I grabbed her cup,

which was next to mine, filled with extra-strength Mucinex dissolved in apple juice by the way,

and had to laugh.

I think for the most part I had always, always wanted to be a mom . . .

but do any of us as we dream of being moms really dream of this?!?

Probably not. 

And yet I would not have wanted to ring my new year in in any other way.

Not gonna lie . . .

I do miss the sexiness and glamour and spontaneity now and then of my life-before-the-tiny-human.

But I miss it for mere minutes. 

Fleeting moments at best.

This little girl of mine is the absolute love of my life.

I would trade a sequined-mini-skirt and a night on the town any day of the week for an otherwise mundane night-in with her.

So the new year's resolutions I plan to make have less to do with bettering me,

and more to do with bettering us. 

I think life is so much about balance and I totally admit that I want to and need to get back into doing some things just for me,

because a happier, healthier me will mean a happier, healthier mama for her.

And I owe her adventure and exploration and fun,

and I plan to do my best to fight against the excuses I have let bog us down along the way,

with the result being a stale routine where more often than not we go through the motions and check things off a list instead of really truly living.

Not a bad start, this list.

I plan to take more deep breaths. React less and appreciate the moment more.

Be less uptight.

It really will be okay if the laundry doesn't get folded tonight or we go to bed with the family room a messy disaster. 

I will be more patient and pick my battles.

I will forgive more and then try to forget, too.

I will continue to screw up and fall short and do things I wish I hadn't,

but when I do I will be quick to say I'm sorry,

and be an example that it's not perfection we should seek but a constant and vigilant desire to always be a little better than we were before.

I think this is going to be an amazing year. 

I can just feel it.

So what do you say?

2015- let's do this. 

Like a boss.